Browsing Category: "Spiritual Reflections"
Beauty and the Beast
By Lesley Edwards
Lesley Edwards clarifies the role of self-awareness in building self-esteem.
Building Self Esteem is about deep personal transformation. I do not believe that we can discover our true worthiness without making the effort to change, without having the courage to look ourselves straight in the eye, appreciate what we see and then move on from there.
I was showing a class of 6-year-old children some pictures of the life cycle of the butterfly one day and I asked them how they thought it happened. One little boy’s face lit up and he exclaimed, “I know, the caterpillar has the heart of a butterfly!” What a wise old soul. It is true that if we know within our hearts what we want to become, then we will become that.
A friend of mine recently realized that she was only able to see herself through other people’s eyes. A counsellor asked her how she saw herself, and she replied that people said she was attractive, intelligent, and fun to be with. On being further pushed to say what she saw, she realized with horror she saw nothing, only a reflection of herself in other people’s eyes, and she was experiencing a profound feeling of being disconnected from herself.
It is a frightening feeling when we don’t know who we are. And many of us don’t, or have come to a point in life where we are seriously seeking some clarity. There has never been a time when we were more in need of some simple ancient wisdom—a spiritual as opposed to a material explanation of who we are. For so long we have been caught up in an identity based on external factors such as our job, appearance, talents and relationships. We have looked to other people, situations and circumstances to define us, to affirm us and to be the source of our pleasure. We have lost ourselves by comparing ourselves with others and measuring ourselves against material standards of success and achievement.
To begin to retrieve ourselves from this mess means a change of perception from physical self-awareness to spiritual self-awareness, seeing ourselves as a soul or spiritual consciousness that is beyond form. The natural state of the soul is internal strength and highest expression of the soul is to express that strength in the form of love, confidence, courage, and many other positive qualities. To have our center of gravity firmly anchored in this part of us makes us bigger than the detail of our daily lives, so that whatever challenge life presents us with we can stand firm and solid. It is to have an experience of Self that “brings a feeling of standing on solid ground inside oneself, on a patch of eternity, which even physical death cannot touch …” (Marie-Louise Von Franz).
It’s quite a challenge to work with a vision of yourself that is beyond image!—for your butterfly to have wings of compassion, peace courage and love as opposed to promotion, beauty, wealth and success! Yet I have seen many people meditating for the first time, connecting with this inner reality, breathing sighs of relief and sharing experiences of an inner freedom and lightness they have never felt before.
Of course the real challenge comes in integrating this experience into daily life, for spiritual self-awareness does not mean ignoring your physical, social and emotional world, but using it to give you the will power, the tools and strength to bring healing and change into all areas of your life. Without a spiritual awareness you may find yourself trying to make superficial changes when things go wrong, like putting knick-knacks and decorations over subsidence or putting more icing on a rotten cake—the equivalent of buying more clothes, eating more food, or drinking more alcohol when you feel depressed. Without a spiritual practice such as meditation you may know very well what changes in attitude and behavior would be good for you, but simply not have the energy or power to put them into practice.
The energy and inner strength that is experienced in meditation equips you with the right weapons to fight a non-violent war—weapons such as patience, tolerance, forgiveness, compassion, acceptance and generosity. For however deeply we believe in our positive selves and however real our experiences of our spiritual self have been, this reality will inevitably be challenged. You may believe that you are a peaceful, loving soul, but can you maintain this experience in the face of sickness or criticisms. A spiritual awareness means always being ready with the right weapons, where battle and victory are an opportunity for alchemy. Where there was fear let there be courage, where lies and illusion—truth, where anger—acceptance, where hurt—forgiveness. Attacks will not just come from outside. Our self-image is made up of layers and layers of past experiences in our own subconscious in the form of deeply ingrained habits of negative thought patterns and behavior. Lasting change and healing requires a deep commitment to emerging gold from lead.
When awakened to their spirituality, people typically discover a sense of purpose and meaning in life. This should not just be a fleeting sensation! The challenge is to live every day with a sense of meaning and purpose. Do you understand the significance of the roles you play, the work you do, the talents you have? This is a potential minefield of stress, frustration, and boredom, of unfulfilled dreams and feelings of failure. Yet from a spiritual perspective, whatever you do is presenting you with exactly what you need for your growth and inner change. You may need to be in a situation to learn patience and humility. You may be bursting to change things on an external level but the best thing you can do right now is to change your attitude and perception towards what you do—patiently waiting for a time when the change that will happen is not a reaction against something bad, but a conscious choice to move towards something good.
What does it mean to translate spiritual self-awareness into your relationships with other people? Are you able to love? Do you love yourself enough to love other people? —to know that love is a verb and not something that will be found in the ideal person, or the ideal situation? —to be as committed to seeing gold in other people as you are to seeing the gold in yourself, appreciating how deeply connected those two perceptions are? When our inner resources are weak we cannot take other people’s attacks and defenses, and the easiest thing to do is to highlight their weaknesses as a way to avoiding responsibility for how we are feeling. To be stable in our own spiritual self awareness is to be able to turn things around, so that faced with someone coming from a space of anger, fear or jealousy, I am not threatened but I can disarm their negativity by seeing beyond it to their goodness. To maintain this vision needs a lot spiritual power—when you are tired and low on energy yourself you get stuck in the external appearance of things and it is much easier to blame, criticize, and put others down.
True self awareness is to see and accept the full life cycle of change—that there is the caterpillar, the cocoon and then the butterfly; that the alchemist uses lead to make gold and daylight always follows the night. A spiritual perspective gives an understanding of this complete story, and enables you to view the story from some place “outside of” or “beyond” yourself, without getting too caught up in any part of the detail. It enables you to see weakness and strength with equanimity and stability; to see weakness as a temporary reality but not ultimately part of true identity; to see weakness as the flip side of strength and to always make the choice to move towards the light, to move towards gold and to move towards flight.
Without seeing the full picture it’s very easy to get caught up in a small part of the story. Many people can accept their weaknesses but not their strengths. When asked to list positive and negative things about themselves, the negative list comes far easier and is a lot longer! Maybe it feels safer to stay on familiar ground, “It’s my personality to be like this. I can’t change., I was born like it!” To see themselves in a positive light is to step out of their comfort zone into dangerously unknown territory. I am reminded of children whose only way of reaching out and making contact with others is through physical violence, because that is the only language they know; and whose attention-seeking strategies result in constantly being told off. But they are getting exactly what they want—attention! For those whose early and subsequent life experiences have been characterized by pain and suffering it takes a Herculean effort of will and courage to step beyond this into a language of love.
Perhaps less common but certainly a potential hazard, is when we accept our strengths but go to great lengths to avoid facing and accepting weaknesses. None of us is perfect, and even the greatest souls have a shadow side. And this shadow has to be seen and embraced if we are to keep on growing. Courage can only come from facing fear, compassion from understanding anger. The peace we can experience is only in contrast to chaos. Every weakness is a strength out of balance; a feeling of worthlessness can be humility distorted, and arrogance may be confidence for the wrong reasons.
It is an art to look at Beauty and Beast with equanimity. And the greatest threat to that is fear. Fear is the big distorting mirror. We look in the mirror and see Beast, and stay with Beast because Beast says I have nothing to live up to, and has plenty of excuses for not having to do anything. Or we look in to the mirror and see Beauty and ignore Beast. And if Beast does not get at least a nod of acknowledgement he will chase us, driving us from within the labyrinth of our subconscious, demanding sacrifices—a missed opportunity here, a damaged relationship there. He will rear his ugly head manifesting as projections, denials, excuses and distortions of truth. So Beauty has to fall in love with Beast to turn him back in to a prince. And the only way for Beauty to love Beast is go beyond fear. Look in to the mirror and see beyond Beast and just see light. Light fills you with the love and courage to face and transform your weaknesses and the strength to express your strengths.
True Self… Naked and Exposed
True Self… Naked and Exposed
by Roger Cole
Dr. Roger Cole recalls the transforming insights he gained when he explored death and dying with one of his groups
One of the outstanding benefits of accurate self-awareness is a relative freedom from the needs and dependencies that normally govern our lives. It also establishes a new frame of reference for the terms purpose and meaning. Such orientation and freedom enables one to experience peace and contentment, without leaving ‘worldly’ responsibilities behind. It is a liberated state, yet influential, with the potential to create a far better world.
In the care of the dying we are occasionally privileged to witness this potential. In the mid-seventies Elizabeth Kübler-Ross wrote a landmark book On Death and Dying. In this she outlined five stages of adaptation to a terminal condition, those of anger, denial, bargaining, depression and acceptance. When the final stage of acceptance is manifest, we can see the example of the original nature of the soul emerge. And within this example is merged a mirror of opportunity; the opportunity to discover our true self.
About a year or two ago I was asked to speak to a group of hospice volunteers about spiritual aspects of care for the dying. During the discussion I talked about this state of acceptance. Not as one that simply acknowledges death but as one that engages that outstanding beauty of a soul. In the hope of a demonstration, I asked if anyone had ever witnessed such beauty at the time of a death.
One of the group, June, volunteered that she had. Her mother’s death had been like this, one of true acceptance, despite the fact that she lay there, withered and utterly dependant. “It was beautiful,” she said. “My mother was radiant with peace and the room just filled with her love. Everybody there was uplifted and happy by her company. She appeared so contented. It seemed as though she was surrounded in light…like an angel. I will never forget it. It was really special.”
It is wonderful, isn’t it, that such a grace can emerge at the time of dying? June and her sisters were with her mother when she was dying. I prompted June with a few questions. “Was your mother worried about any of you at that moment in time?” “No”, she said. “She knew we were there, but she was beyond concern about how we were feeling”.
“How about her looks and circumstances?” I asked. “Was she bothered by her appearance, or about the disease, and the fact she was dying?”.
“No…,” she paused. “…mum was at peace with herself. It was as if her body had ceased to exist. Only serenity remained, and there was no fear there at all.”
“How about all the problems of our world?” I asked. “Was your mom troubled by all the conflicts, deprivation and confrontation that are going on?” June laughed, entertaining a fleeting memory. “Oh, mum always had an opinion about everything. She used to get into a real state about it all. Really angry or really sad. But now you mention it…no, she wasn’t troubled at all. I guess she must have just let go of everything…,” she faltered, searching, “…she had let go of everything.”
This last statement had a profound effect on the room, the words were charged with positive emotions. There was pause, then a short silence that was full and unifying. The group vibration resonated with peace and harmony, as I measured the final question.
“In letting go of everything, just before she died, did your mother appeared to be carrying the burden of any of her life’s roles or responsibilities?”
“No, she had become completely free…completely free!”
In those final conscious moments of her life, June’s mother had become completely free. And liberated. Freed from all concerns of living. In the essence of her soul and ‘living spirit’; liberated—yet still occupying the wasted remnants of her physical body. As such, the soul stood naked and exposed, revealing her true and authentic self. I regard this to be fully manifest acceptance and would describe it as a state of grace. Or as one of true dignity. Most people feel that loss of dignity is attained where there is a dependency, or the need for help with their bodily functions. I believe this to be a misconception which reflects human ignorance. An ignorance born of body consciousness. While we will be exploring this concept further, June’s mother offers herself as living proof of this ignorance. In spirit she was graceful, and was revealing her true and original personality through liberation. The questions that I asked of June, were intended to explore four principle directions by which liberation leaves a soul free and vibrant. Liberation from the roles and responsibilities of a lifetime. Liberation from being affected by problems, in an increasingly complex world. Liberation from the material world, including the physical body, its diseases and appearance. And liberation from the attachments we form in a lifetime of relationships.
By liberation, June’s mother entered a state of being in which she was freed from the awareness of her body. She had become completely ‘soul conscious’. As such she naturally filled the room with a radiance of love, peace and acceptance. And those who were in her presence became happy and peaceful. I believe this to have reflected a return to her original condition. The condition she had before taking birth. That of a peaceful soul.
In witnessing this example we are seeing the establishment of soul-consciousness in the face of death. So one might ask, why is it we wait so long to find such serenity? And why do we have to be forced into submission—by death—before we can love and let go? Evidently it could be possible to do so in life and our volunteer’s mother is trying to show us this. The question is, “How”?
I have considered transformation to begin with enlightenment. And that enlightenment is bestowed as gift of awareness, requiring no endeavour on behalf of its beneficiary. When there has been recognition of the opportunity that enlightenment offers, then transformation can proceed. The difference now is that effort must be made. During enlightenment the individual’s experience is akin to that of June’s mother. Spiritual growth or transformation is about holding this love and light constantly. The effort required needs to be made in two directions simultaneously—towards the state of being; and towards the state of liberation. In fact both of these are intimately associated. The main effort is that of becoming soul conscious and free from dependencies. Liberated!
It represents a completely new identity.
In our volunteer’s mother this was attained in the face of death. Through the dying process she had become completely detached from all directions external to herself. External, that is, to her soul—the true or authentic self. In so doing she became a vessel of divine influence, radiating love, light and peace to those around her. She was detached from her family, yet they were experiencing love from her. She was detached from her family, yet they were experiencing love from her. Pure spiritual love. It seems a paradox, doesn’t it, that she had become both detached and loving? Totally unconcerned about anyone’s welfare. Yet loving and, quite effortlessly, meeting everyone’s need for peace and happiness. Her spiritual beauty came with the exposure of her soul. Through its nakedness, seeds of transformation were cast in a radiance of purity. And like a mirror she was revealing the true nature of soul to anyone who entered her presence. June had said, ‘It seemed as though she was surrounded in light…like an angel.” I think she was an angel.
By attaining grace, June’s mother had also revealed this aim and object of spiritual growth. That of becoming an angel. Or soul conscious. From this case it is evidently possible to do so. Her soul consciousness was state of awareness (or being) that served and uplifted others. She gave out an automatic, natural radiance of pure virtues. With a leaf from her book, as enlightened effort makers, we could transform ourselves. And become holistic, spiritual servers, whatever our social or professional roles. Where June’s mother was forced to do so by her circumstances of death, we have the opportunity to ‘embrace the light’ in accordance with free will. In giving us this example, she has afforded us this opportunity. An opportunity for even higher attainment than hers.
Where she found liberation and self-realization in death, we can do so in life. But we must first let go of fears and misconceptions. And understand paradox. To detach from those we love will transform the quality of that love into something divine and unconditional. Do we have the confidence to let go of relationships? And become merged in the divine love that will fulfil those relationships? Or is it that our fear is too great—that we will lose something? It is no easy thing to let go of a world you have come to depend on. But it is a wonderful thing to surrender your life to a higher power. For in surrender you become an instrument, where there is no burden on your shoulders. And you discover the delight of lightness in the service of humanity. I guess angels don’t get too worried about things. Then why should they? They are only God’s helpers after all.
June’s mother has given us a glimpse of the personal aim and objective within transformation or spiritual growth. And we have looked beyond enlightenment to the state of grace. Grace that beckons the soul to make effort to be itself, and to become free, liberate from body-consciousness. By this I mean to have a separate awareness from the physical body; and to be liberated from the four directions. Those of attachments, of responsibilities, of being affected, and of the material world.
We are now entering the individual’s journey. In doing so we will take care to remember that who ever travels this path enters a divine plan. Effort-making and self-transformation are inspired by a higher power. Enlightenment is a gift of higher power. And the motivation to take the journey is sustained from this divine source. We will also remember that the individual who journeys, contributes spiritual vibrations towards world transformation. Each one unique. Each one selected, each with a role to play.
Yet not one is special. For each is only rediscovering his or her true self, before allowing it to remain naked and exposed!
Roger Cole is a specialist physician trained in cancer medicine. He currently directs the Palliative Care Service in Australia. This is an extract from his forthcoming book A Tapestry of Light. It was originally published by BK Publications (www.bkpublications.com) in Retreat Magazine #10.
Mohini Punjabi “Being A Leader”
ON BEING A LEADER
A reflective conversation with Mohini Punjabi by Stella Eugene Humphries Mohini Punjabi is a senior spiritual leader of the Brahma Kumaris World Spiritual Organisation (BKWSO) and their Regional Co-ordinator for North and South America and the Caribbean. She is also the BKWSO representative to the United Nations. To place her leadership role in context, I will first describe some features of the BKWSU which make it an organisation of interest to the study of governance, structure, coordination and leadership. The BKWSO is dedicated to providing knowledge and an environment for individual transformation in practical everyday life. It is founded on the belief that through the attainment, in action, of personal qualities such as peace, compassion, inner power, and wisdom, fundamental social transformation can be brought about. The organisation consists of selforganising centers (in most countries known as Raja Yoga Meditation Centres) which are run by volunteers. Each Raja Yoga centre provides the same daily classes to its students. There is no ‘membership’ and each individual is free to find their relationship to the organisation on a continuum from daily study to occasional participation in special programmes. Co-ordination of activities among local, national and international regional centers and the headquarters in Mt. Abu, is dynamic and regular through the internet and telephone. In addition to the daily schedule of teaching and meditation, the organisation holds special programmes for the public as well as professional groups in the arts, sciences, medicine, government, the legal profession, education and business. It organises conferences, training workshops, concerts, retreats and lectures often in partnerships with other organisations. SEH: Can you tell us a little of your own story - how you came to be a leader? MP: I was a very private person and wanted to live a simple family life but the need for knowing more was within me and a sense of service was important. I had feelings of wanting to provide for myself but I also had a lot of care for people from a very early age. At first, service for me was very simple - to reach out to people and to give people whatever they need - small things. I remember in the early ‘60s there was an epidemic of influenza - it was very new - people did not know what the flu was. In almost every home in the large block where we lived people were sick because we did not have immunity or injections. I didn’t get sick - I would make tea, go door to door and serve food. India had two or three small wars with Pakistan and China and I remember reaching out to wounded people - going to hospitals and seeing what could be done. I think an understanding of what one wants to achieve for oneself and also what one wants to do to serve others is needed in combination. It seems to me people either want to do something for others or do something for themselves but they do not often live the combination. When I think of where I began and where the story of leadership began I discover that I sought to combine the two very specifically. I wanted both a quality life for myself and I wanted to offer myself to service. SEH: You feel awareness of one’s inner needs is important for playing a public leadership role? MP: I think the story of a successful leader begins with how one leads one’s own life. Many people look to others for direction and insight. But others feel that there is some purpose they wish to fulfil. There is an inner calling that pulls and to which one has to respond. That is when learning begins. Learning is connected with helping one’s self. One should ask, “Which direction would I like to go and what is the aim of my life. What do I want to do?” People tend not to think about their lives in this way. They accept information and norms external to them without questioning what these mean. Most people today focus on what the market wants. They think that if they study to fill the current market need, they can immediately start and earn money. But one should rather feel what guidance is within. They should look for something very special that gives fulfilment. Once one commits to following one’s intuition and finding one’s own inner direction, fulfilment begins to grow. Of course education needs to be connected with livelihood but job and money are secondary. Attention is first needed on connecting one’s education to developing the quality of one’s ‘being’ and not only to developing one’s capacity for ‘doing.’ Whatever I did, I wanted first to know, “Why am I doing it? What is it bringing to me? What is it bringing to others?” SEH: From where do you get your guidance and support as a leader? MP: Basically my strength comes from my principles, my strength comes from learning and my strength came from my insights. I like being governed from my insights and I like to have information. I read a lot in every area; economics, politics, medicine. When I have to decide something and when I have to form an opinion or I have to give comments, I give these from inside. I like to hear the news and be informed but I do not necessarily like to be influenced to an extent that my own initiative and my own pure reasoning and my own insights get lost. I keep a distance and it helps me to discern. Before I become a guide for others, am I a good guide for myself? If I am a guide for my self then I know where I am leading people. I feel each one has to have one’s own map and one’s own inner direction in life. Every human life becomes a guidance or misguidance for others. That is, whatever is spoken or whatever is done by someone will be seen by others and many will want to do the same. I am careful because I know when I do something others will want to do it. But then when others are doing something, I remind myself not to get influenced if I don’t want to do it. I won’t do it even if 100 people say ‘yes.’ I will just do what I am internally comfortable with but without imposing that on others. The individual - even in a large organisation, and I am part of a large organisation - always has to maintain connection with the guidance of the self. Wherever I feel that I am not clear, I am not comfortable, I will go inside and I will try to find the right direction. To be guided by one’s inner self and to act with the awareness that others will follow, are very, very important. The strength of a leader should come from inside, should come from values. Their life should be governed by principles because following your principles protects your strength. When you speak the truth you only have to say it once, you don’t have to try to convince. But once you speak a lie - you have to tell another 20 and still you are not able to convince. So it is more simple to be truthful, to be honest. In my heart I always hold on to honesty and truth. SEH: What is your vision of a wellfunctioning system - towards what ideal way of organising do you lead? MP: A teacher had a world map which was torn into little pieces and the teacher gave it to the students to fix. The students looked at it and wondered how could they restore it. But one of the students, within 15 minutes, had done it. He turned the map over, and on the back, there was a figure of the human body so he put the pieces together that way. He knew where everything fitted. He knew where the eyes should be and where the nose should be and so on. When he turned it over, the world was also put together. This is a metaphor for the interdependency of the world of human beings - beneath the surface things have a connection, the whole has a pattern. We should neither be dependent nor independent - instead we need to understand and accept the right relationship among the parts of the whole. Each of the parts is important and has a role. Understanding this leads to right relationship. If we truly understood that the whole world is one family, then abuse through power and status and greed would end. When one thinks of family, one doesn’t think only of the task. There is much more to a family than getting tasks done. A task-oriented personality sooner or later loses effectiveness as a leader because they lose the people. Mostly leaders are remembered for small things not for large things by those close to them. An ambassador for one of Caribbean islands was speaking of the ex-Prime Minister of India, Mrs. Indira Gandhi. Publicly she was known as the Iron Woman - as a very strong politician. Few knew her soft side which was her true strength. He spoke of a time when he was in her Cabinet and they worked late or were doing a project at her residence. Every two or three hours she would send someone for tea. He said that such little gestures of her care made them work day and night. True leaders are remembered for small humanitarian acts which those close to them always appreciate and describe. But more often status and greed become very big challenges for a leader. Even praise and success is difficult for many. That is why a leader has to remember, “I am a server - I am on service.” One of the important factors I find within the BKWSU is that at its core it is a family, then it is an organisation. Because it is a very large family, we need to run it as an organisation - but we do not have presidents, secretaries etc., so it is like an organized family. This structure is very beautiful - family and organisation. It means the personal care and security of each member is really the well-being of the organisation. SEH: What should be our attitude towards leaders today who have betrayed trust? MP: There needs to be the realisation that everyone is responsible. Whatever is happening in a collective is not because of one, two, ten individuals, but because of each one of us. We are in a system. It is we who elect our leaders, we who really allow all that happens to happen. So if at the grass roots people do not empower themselves, they will always look to the leaders, blame the leaders. Both the formal leaders and the grass roots levels need to take responsibility of whatever is happening in the world. Blaming only leaders for the fate of millions is not right. Each one has to look at what is happening and ask, “How am I contributing by my actions, my thoughts, my attitudes, my choices?” If I want peace I have to ask myself, ‘Am I being peaceful?’ If I want tolerance or nonviolence, I need to look where in my life I am contributing to peacelessness or violence and start to change those thoughts and attitudes and actions. I feel that each one needs to take responsibility, not only expect rights. The contribution of each one is very important and each one needs to contribute whatever he or she can towards a better world. Everyone needs to feel, “I am a leader” in this regard. One should not only look to the leaders and follow. One needs to also take responsibility. Each one’s inner leadership is important. Every individual can contribute a great deal. In this way people working with leaders and leaders working with people are equally necessary. Empowerment of each individual is very important. SEH: Why are women especially prominent in leadership roles within the organisation? MP: I think organisations today need leadership which is more nurturing. Women tend to have natural nurturing qualities and a balance between the head and heart. A lot of things the head will miss but the heart will not miss. Women listen to the heart. I find women serve from the heart. Being a mother is basically serving, thinking of others. Intellectual capacities can more easily be developed in today’s institutional cultures, but the feminine qualities of listening to the heart and kindness are not recognised to be important. As a result, they are not developed. Because women tend to bring those qualities naturally, we can use their capacities to bring about a simple way of organizing, based on values. When people come to the BKSWU, especially to the headquarters in Mt. Abu, India, they see dedication, commitment, patience. Being devoted to something in a sustained way is a very feminine quality. It is one thing to be task oriented, it is another to have long-term dedication. Some people can be task-oriented but not dedicated long-term. Women have the quality of dedication. Not that men don’t have it, but women tend to have it well developed. Many, many Indian family businesses know their success is dependent on the woman’s influence. When male business leaders come to the Brahma Kumaris headquarters in Mt. Abu, they see that the influence of women’s leadership is missing in their organisations. Many have said to us, “If we had that we would also grow like you are growing.” They can feel this balance of the head and the heart. Our founder taught that if you want the organisation to be whole in the sense of balanced, women should be the leaders. He placed women in leadership roles from the beginning. Leaders need to be people with a good rational mind and well developed capacities of the heart. These qualities can become balanced in each one, man or woman. It is only now when the feminine qualities are not valued in the world that the balance needs to be restored. This is what we are doing here, bringing balance between the head and the heart. SEH: Can you suggest some practices people could experiment with? MP: One of the practices we use is to pause a few times a day, maybe every two or three hours. We call this ‘traffic control’ or controlling the traffic of thoughts in the mind. We take a few moments to calm down, get connected within and clear the mind of noise. Once we feel reconnected with the peaceful inner self, we go back to the task. Another regular practice is to start the day with time alone and to think or read something of inspiration and to meditate. Filling the mind with something that nourishes it, is important at the start of the day. Thinking about a virtue or a value that we can apply that day is a good morning practice. Then during the day we will have an enhanced awareness of that virtue and be able to draw on its power when difficulties arise. Strength is experienced through this and day by day, with regular practice, that strength grows. We often say, “Drops make the ocean.” One of the most important things in life is to pay attention to one’s thoughts. People do not understand and realise how powerful their thoughts are. With our thoughts we create our future - consciously or unconsciously. Each thought is therefore so important. This is why we need to slow down at the start of each day and during the day to get to know our thoughts and to choose which ones to engage and which ones to let go. Related to this is how one uses time and energy. One should not need to go back and forth over the same situation in one’s thoughts – one’s thinking should be clean and direct, so when it is over, one is finished with the situation. Seeing the value of one’s mental energy, making the effort to have clear and stable mental energy, will make it easy to take on responsibility and to stay fresh. If one allows one’s mental energy to be lost, one is drained, and it is not possible to be effective. Time, thoughts and energy are inter-related personal properties to care a great deal about. These are the foundation upon which we individually and collectively create the quality of our lives and our society. .
